Would You PLease Say You Need me
by lazy fat kitsune
Summary: COMPLETE AS OF 15TH AUGUST 2005. An attempt at a brotherly fic.
1. Memories In The Darkness

_**heya all...i'm distracted from the world of YYH to lil' snakes dancing in my vision...whether fortunately or unfortunately i know not, but this 3 chapter fic is not shounen ai, no matter how i like it to be...rather, i chose to focus more on the relationship between Ayame and Yuki! hehe...**_

**_oh yeah, Words of A Broken Core is on the way...i just needed to get this one out of my system for now..._**

**_so on to the way to the ficcie!_**

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_**Would You Please Say You Need me**_

_**Chapter 1**_

Yuki…I'm sorry…I didn't fulfill my responsibility as a brother…no matter what, I should not have abandoned you…won't you forgive me? I guess as much…you don't need me anymore… but maybe it's better this way…then he wouldn't have a reason to hurt you…all I ever wanted was to protect you…he would not hear of it…

_I had confronted **him** that day…_

"_What do you want, Snake?"_

"_Please, leave my brother alone!"_

_His eyes narrowed and he tightened his hold on the cup in his hand._

"_What?"_

_In a rare burst of courage, I raised my voice slightly._

"_Leave Yuki alone! You have no right to do this!"_

_In the next instant, a searing pain erupted from my forehead, above my right eye, followed by warm wetness. Shigure and Hatori ran to me but he was faster. Blows rained on me as he shrieked._

"_Nobody tells me what to do! Least of all the Snake!"_

_As Gure-san lifted him off me, Tori-san helped me up._

"_Come, let's go. I'll see to your wound."_

"_I can't. Yuki needs my help."_

_Maniacal laughter rang throughout the room. He had stopped struggling from Gure-san's hold._

"_You want to help him? The Snake, wanting to help the Rat? Pathetic!"_

"_He's not just the Rat! He's Yuki! He has a name! so do I!"_

"_Ayame? Everyone sees you as the Snake, disgusting and cold blooded! Nothing more than a reptile!"_

"_No, it's not true…" I slumped onto the floor, away from Tori-san's grasp and support. "I'm not like that…stop saying that!" Yet I huddled on the floor, whimpering, unable to push away the sinking feeling within. I knew what he had said is true._

"_Come! Let's go!" who's that? Familiar…Tori-san? he seemed anxious…I tried to looki at him but black dots had begun to swim in my fading vision._

"_**Would you be willing to take his place then?"**_

"_I…"_

_Then darkness consumed me completely._

_Gomen, Yuki, I failed you…_

More than once…I failed you…when I left the Main House, I wanted to take you along with me… he would not allow it…Tousan and Kaasan wouldn't either…luckily I was able to persuade Gure-san to take you in…away from his grasp…

You see how I never dared to utter **his** name…not even once after that incident…even now, lingering in this unknown darkness, I still fear **him**…time and again, **he** had broke me…I'm scared, Yuki…all of us are…

For **he** is** God...**

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**yay! you think this should remain a one shot? or should i post the remaining 2 chapters? 

if i get let's say 5 reviews...i'll post chapter 2! so off with you...go review...(shameless way of forcing readers to review)


	2. Where Are You?

_**er...i forget what i have to say...anyhow...fyi, i have not read the manga of FB...therefore, Shigure's character will be as it is in the anime ok?**_

**_uh...to those who review, thanks a bunch! _**

**_ok...go ahead to chapter 2! _**

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Would You Please Say You Need Me

**_Chapter 2: Where Are You?_**

Yuki looked down at the unconscious figure. Even now, he could not believe what had happened the day before.

"He had never cared before. Why do that now? I don't understand, Hatori."

Hatori kept the remaining bandages and stood up. Wearily, he said, "You're wrong, Yuki. Ayame has always cared. He just wasn't allowed to express it."

"What do you mean? He abandoned me that time!"

"Lower your voice."

"He doesn't care then! "

"You weren't there then, You wouldn't know what had happened."

"There where? What happened?"

"I'm sorry; it's not in my place to tell you. You'll have ask Ayame when he wakes up. **If** he wakes up."

"No. Tell me now."

"Haa-san, just tell him already. Aaya would never tell. You know that."

Other members of the Jyuunishi listened silently, though with much curiousity.

"Fine," Hatori snapped and turned to Yuki. "Suffice it to say, Yuki, you are not his only victim."

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Where is this place? It's so dark. I can't see anything. Or feel. What had happened? The last I remember was…Tohru…**he **had ordered Tori-san to erase her memories…Yuki was there…so were everyone…even Kyou….

"_No! you can't do this to her! She's not a Jyuunishi, or even a Souma! She's not yours to order around!"_

_**The same burst of courage, from so long ago. Only this time, it did not originate from me.**_

_**His **face had coloured in anger and he had walked towards Yuki with silky fury evident in every step he tok. The scene was so familiar, only this time I'm the audience._

Hmmm…what happened after that? I can't seem to remember…maybe it's just a dream…it's just a jumble of incoherent images…

Where is this place anyway? It's so dark…. I know I'm not in **that **room because it's not cold. Besides, the darkness is not eerie, rather it's a contemplative darkness…

Yet…there's echoes…voices…though I can't quite make out the words, I'm pretty sure it's Tori-san….

Where is he? Tori-san, where are you? I can't see you!

And as the darkness slowly evolve, I began to panic.

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welll...chapter 2 is done...4 more chappies to go...weeeeee...

review please...my happiness depends on your reviews..


	3. Nightmare

**_haiz _i dunno what to say...this chapter is longer! yay! **

**ano...eeto...if the characters are OOC or something, don't blame me! blame the evil plot bunnies! and uh...if there's any mistakes on the anime info or stuff like that, do inform me. however, it is not likely that i will correct it though...yeap, many factors to ponder. eg: laziness, no time...you get the picture...**

**By the way, thanks for those who reviewed!**

_**ok! on to the fic!**_

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_**Would You Please Say You Need Me**_

_**Chapter 3:Nightmare**_

"I can't believe it! Why didn't he tell me all this?" Yuki collapsed weakly onto the chair. "If I had known, I would never have misunderstood him in the first place."

"He didn't want to dwell on the past, or so he said." Hatori said quietly. "Also he is not the type of person who search for excuses, no matter how he may look it."

Everyone had listened quietly, each in silent thoughts mingled with guilt.

"What do you mean?" Yuki's eyes clouded with guilt and confusion.

"He really thinks that he failed you as a brother," Shigure said, in a soft pain-filled voice. "Indirectly and unknowingly, he seeks punishment in futile redemption."

Before Yuki or anyone could reply, they heard a gasp and a weak moan.

Ayame thrashed slightly in the futon, seemingly caught in the throes of a nightmare.

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What the…what is this place? I thought…oh no….i know where this is…but it can't be…the pathway to **the** room. 

Drawn by some unknown force, I find myself walking towards the room. Dread filled my stomach with a lead weight, my heart felt as if the artic winds have blown through it. Whispers of past 'visits' rang ever so clearly through my ears, filling me with such trepidation.

The first time I saw, through the eyes of an unknown audience.

It had been one of the earlier Jyuunishi members. He was the Rat, before Yuki. At that time, I was so young and he had been the one to comfort me when Kaasan and Tousan had flat out rejected me. I hadn't really known Tori-san and Gure-san beyond their names then, as I had been confined and forbidden to venture outside our corner of the Main House. Strange now, that I had known many things about him except his name. I had known that he was an emotionally strong person. Yet seeing him break down after a few words from **him **broken the rose-coloured glass behind which I had withheld him.

He had died a month later, from 'unknown causes', but I knew better.

The second time had struck closer; much much closer.

I shook my head, trying to clear it of those unpleasant thoughts, only to find that I had the door. It beckons eerily at me to open it, and uncontrollably I succumbed.

"_You're the snake…reptile…cold-blooded...disgusting creature…_

"_Don't bother, Hatori, it'll heal by itself…"_

Scrunching my eyes shut against the onslaught of memories, I braced myself and slid the door open.

Silence.

Hesitantly, I opened my eyes and sighed in relief. **He **is not here.

I stepped into the room. It smelt of pain and fear, laced with blood. Tori-san, mine, and so many others before and after us. Instinctively, my hands reached up to my forehead.

I shivered. The room is dank, dark and cold, as it has always been. Suddenly, I felt a strong urge to get out. Before I could even turn around, I heard the door slid shut. My heart filled with dread. The smell. It's **him**.

My animal instincts screamed for release.

"Well, you're back."

"I'm going now." My voice wavered, betraying my mask of self confidence.

"No, you're not going anywhere. Not till you remember why you're here in the first place. Not till you hear them call for you."

The last coherent thought before panic overwhelm me was "Gods, save me!"

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"His fever is worsening," Hatori muttered, 

There Ayame lay, drenched in sweat. His eyebrows were scrunched together, lips muttering unheard words.

"Will he…" Yuki half-asked the dreaded question.

The atmosphere seemed to tense almost immediately as everyone strained their ears.

Hatori shook his head. "A possibility of both. It's all up to him now. We can't do much, save watch over him."

"Save me…" A soft heart-wrenching whimper was torn from the broken fram thrashing weakly against the futon.

How could they, when they did not know what to save him from?

All they could do was watch in silence, intruders over his private suffering.

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**review, please? after two chapters in 2 days! repay my kindness and sacrifice! joking joking...(sweat)**

**off i go to read fics!**


	4. Delirious

_**nyah...got nothing to say...**_

_**um..**italics **refer to flashbacks.**_

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Would You Please Say You Need Me

_**Chapter 4: Delirious**_

"_No, Akito-sama, please…"_

_I slid back against the locked doors, shivering uncontrollably out of fear and cold, despite it being the middle of summer. _

_Within an hour, I was beginning to feel numb from the cold. Whispers and echoes bounded within the four corners of the room. Outside, I could hear children laughing and playing without a care in the world. What I would give to be them…_

_I could not tell how much time had gone by. My thoughts are jumbled, incoherent, spurred by the cold more than anything else. I could not tell day from night, or whether it's fire or ice encasing me in its embrace, nor could I differentiate up and down. I thought I could see the past Jyuunish members, their silvery forms gliding across the room mournfully, mouthing unvoiced words to me._

_Someone, I later learned it was Tori-san and Gure-san, came to fetch me later. I could not remember much, except for a shadow of a man and a woman holding a baby, yelling at me._

"_What are you doing here? You're sick! You could infect Yuki! You should have known better than to return here in this state!"_

"_I'm sorry, Naoki-san. I'll bring Ayame back and let him stay with me till he gets well."_

_A voice, is it a man's? "Don't bother, Hatori. Just leave it where you found it. It'll heal."_

"_Iie, it's alright, Kazuya-san. He won't be much of a trouble."_

"_Fine then, take it away."

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"You never knew of that, right?"

Yuki shook his head silently.

"I don't think he remembers either. He was already delirious when we got there, muttering about not hearing something. Personally, I was surprised that he had not transformed."

"Didn't he hate me for that?"

"Like I said, I doubt he remembers. Still, he knew that your parents cared for you a lot more then they did him. But he understood that it wasn't your fault. Resentment, yes…hate? I don't think he hated you. No matter what you think, Ayame rarely let emotions control him. At least not when it truly matters. Except for that one time…" Hatori's voice trailed off, leaving pain-filled eyes in memory of the incident.

Yuki fell silent, as did everyone else in the room.

Shigure spoke quietly. "Yuki, what he needs is not your warmth, but much rather, your acceptance."

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NO! I'm Ayame! Ayame! Not…" Dimly I realized that I must have looked hysterical, without my usual mask in place.

"Haven't you heard what they called you? I can list it out, every single one of it." He grinned maliciously.

"No! I don't want to hear it. It's not true!" I covered my ears but somehow the words still rang so loud and clear.

"The foulest of the Jyuunishi… I'm sure many would agree on that," he said happily, as if leeching off my pain and fear.

"No! Tori-san wouldn't! neither would Gure-san!"

"Yuki would…"

"No, he wouldn't." My voice shook with fear and desperation mixed with pretended confidence.

That silky voice sounded once again, instilling such trepidation I had thought I would never feel again.

"Have they ever said that?"

No, no they never once said so. None of them…

He took my pause as a confirmation, much to his delight.

"See, they hate you…they wish you are gone…never existed in the first place."

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**_yeah...um...one more chapter should finish it..._**

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	5. Epilogue

_**weeee...the epilogue! now I can go back to my other ficcie! Thank you for those who reviewed especially Kurai Himitsu! Now that i finished this , you gotta finish Sakura Snows! **_

**_Maa, I'm disgressing. Anyways, on to the story..._**

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Would You Please Say You Need Me

_**Epilogue**_

"He's fading." Hatori looked panicked for the first time.

In that instant, Yuki realized how much his brother meant to him, how much he needed him around even to babble nonsense and make outrageous advances to "strengthen their bond"

"Niisan, please stay with us. We still need you!" he could feel crystalline tears flowing down his cheeks but he could not care anymore.

"I still need you…"

"They hate you, don't need you around. Why, then, do you still linger around then?"

No, it's not true! It can't be….

I hugged myself, suddenly very much aware of the cold and the pain emanating from my wounds and…wait, wounds?

All of a sudden, images and memories rushed through my mind, burning yet cooling and comforting.

Yuki...strike…blood…Akito..he had drawn blood…before I knew it, I had intervened…hitting me…shouts…pain…darkness…

I know what this is now. It's Death. I'm dying, that is, if I'm not dead already…they don't need me around anyway…I'm just a nuisance…

"**We still need you…"**

What the…who's that, screaming like that…am trying to sleep…tired…Yuki? Is that him? What did he say? Can't remember…

"_**I still need you!"**_

He still needs me…he still needs me…he needs…me.

My eyes shot open.

Yuki!

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"Yuki…"

"He's gone…I never told him…" I closed my eyes, clenching my fist.

"Yuki…"

"My fault…"

"Yuki…"

A flare of irrational anger swooped through me.

"Stop it! Stop calling my name!" I yelled.

"No…look…"

There was a tone of amazement and relief laced with attention that caught my attention.

I opened my eyes and looked straight into tired amber gold eyes.

"Niisan…"

"Yuki…"

Thank the gods, he's alright.

I smiled at him, not caring about the tears streming down my face, or the audience around us, and as he returned it with a small, tired but genuine one of his own, I know.

Even as Hatori erases his memory of me as Akito had ordered, I'll be there for him. No matter what.

I know… it'll be fine.

_**- The End -

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(cries in amazement) OMG! it's finished!

okie, please review k?

(whistles and hurry off to finish 'Words of A Broken Core' )


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